Thursday, December 16, 2010

Accidents and Assholes

 Apparently when there is a minimal amount of snow on the ground it allows for people to drive like complete idiots. Last night, we got freezing rain and then about 1/2 inch of snow on top of it. It was slick but nothing that has not been seen here in Nebraska before...nothing shocking. Yet during this mornings commute to work, apparently everyone was completely shocked and surprised and therefore lost the ability to drive. Being surrounded by accidents and assholes is no way to start your day. Period. End of story. Done.
As the holidays are approaching, I have come to the realization that I have lost vast amount of time. I mean, I flat out to not remember a big chunk of time. My recollection of time is very altered since spending 15 months in the hospital getting care for Eric, but I remember every second I got to spend with my baby. Eric died October 2009 and I do not remember several months that followed at all. I can not tell you where we had thanksgiving last year or who attended. I do not know what we did for Christmas or what we got, where we went...hell I don't know if we even went anywhere. I have absolutely no recollection of last years New Years Eve. I remember taking a trip to LA and taking Wes to Disneyland, the San Diego zoo, and Sea World. My husband tells me we did it in November and I have to take his word for it. I remember the trip, but I have no idea when we actually went.   It is a very odd feeling to realize you have lost so much time. Not that time was wasted but that you have absolutely no idea of your functioning during that time. No idea what you did, no idea of who you did it with. The holidays always make you think about what you are thankful for, despite all the accidents and assholes. I am very thankful for a loving and supportive husband as well as a kind and gentle little boy. I am also thankful for the time I got to have with Eric.


jenni said...

I hope you remember everything about this year! You've accomplished SO much..

Pepe Le Pew said...

There are not enough words to describe how sorry I am for your loss. I don't know you and you don't know me, but tonight you will be in my prayers.